09.19.14

F— that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!

Posted in Culture of Lickspittle, WhiteManistan at 2:04 pm by George Smith

Famous line by Dennis Hopper, playing the maniac Frank Booth, in the movie Blue Velvet, made decades ago. You know, before all the big American beer companies sold themselves to foreigners out of greed.

Today, from the wire, news that Pabst has been sold to a Russian beverage company for a few hundred million.

About a decade ago Pabst was considered a hipster beer in the Williamsburg neighborhoods of NYC and in LA’s west side. It was a good marketing trick.

But today Pabst is only three percent of the American market. Remarkably, it also makes Colt 45, much mentioned here.

And the arrival of Pabst in 24 oz. cans at Baja Ranch a couple weeks ago probably explains why Colt 45 has disappeared from the shelves. Colt 45, much stronger beer, sold for $1.39 for 24 ounces; the same size can of Pabst now goes for $1.75.

The company is so pathetic it’s even afraid of underselling one of its own products. And I’m saying this as someone who always liked Pabst and Colt 45!

Unintentionally hilarious quote, from the wire (no link):

In a statement, Oasis Chairman Eugene Kashper called Pabst Blue Ribbon the “quintessential American brand — it represents individualism, egalitarianism and freedom of expression — all the things that make this country great.”

Kashper will serve as CEO of Pabst Brewing, which will keep its headquarters in Los Angeles.

America in 2014, individualism, egalitarianism and freedom of expression. Haw.

Just like Los Angeles is a birthplace of beer.

Made by Pabst, probably not proudly. Endorsed by me!

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Because big corporate beer in America is just as cheap and villainous as everything else, I’m reaching into the archives today for a story on Miller beer.

The setting, a Christmas party in which a man who once lived by me and worked in management for the Miller plant in Irwindale, could think of nothing to talk about but firing people.

This, in the holiday season. Because that’s what everyone talks about in America when it’s time for good cheer!

Layoffs, so the wealthy get more:

I was at a late afternoon Christmas party in Pasadena yesterday when I was told a classically 2010 American tale.

The fellow to the left of me was talking about his job. He worked at the big Miller brewery in southern California, west on the superhighway out of Pasadena to Irwindale. It’s a classic joint. Like all breweries, you can smell the fermentation when you drive by.

He informed the room that Miller’s development plan was to downsize/fire 50 percent of the employees at the place.

I was astonished. Beer, like pizza, one would think to be virtually recession proof. Only if you kill off a population do you cut overall consumption of alcohol.

And the biology and thermodynamics of fermentation has not been changed by innovation in hundreds of years. It can’t be done. Beer-making is immutable. You cannot make it more efficient through the application of technology aimed at efficiency and downsizing.

So I asked the man what was the reasoning behind this, since beer-making can’t be revolutionized.

He said that management had figured out that if you had two people who did jobs with overlap, you could fire one of them, award half their salary to the retained worker, and make the person still employed do twice the work. And the leftovers would jump at that.

He added that this made more profit for the shareholders and company heads.

They shipped him to Texas where he probably got fired, too.

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