Computer Security for the 1 Percent: You Don’t Mess Around with Kim

Posted in Culture of Lickspittle, Cyberterrorism at 1:16 pm by George Smith

Sony has its morons
Seth Rogen is just one
38th parallel got Kim Jong Un
He’s a cyberwar son of a gun
Yeah, he’s weird and screwy as a man can come
But he’ll throw you for a real big loss
And when the bad guys come on the net at night
You know they all call Kim “Boss”

You don’t put ricin on some tape
You don’t spit into the wind
You shouldn’ta said “Yes!” to Seth’s shitty movie
And you don’t mess around with Kim

To Jim Croce’s “You Don’t Mess Around with Jim.” Fill in the rest of the lyrics.

The Wall Street Journal’s Joe Morgenstern reviewed “The Interview” and it’s another perfect first graf:

Never has less of a film had more of an impact on the studio—and the nation—that produced it. (And never until now have I discussed a film that, as the situation currently stands, most people will never get to see.) “The Interview” isn’t just a film, of course. It’s a buddy comedy, with a slob aesthetic, that became the provocation for real-world events of shocking import; the quality of the thing wouldn’t seem to matter at this point. Yet the remarkably dismal quality is emblematic of the mind-set that brought the movie, and its attendant crises, into being.

Reactions, the sky-is-falling predictable:

Ex-NSA lawyer Joel Brenner, author of America the Vulnerable: “We can’t ignore this … We can’t let this go without some retaliation.”

House Homeland Security Committee Chairman, R. Michael McCaul of Texas: “I would argue that we should be able to respond in kind to hit them.”

North Korea doesn’t have a global movie industry. (Encroaching characteristic in Computer Security for the 1 Percent: Attacking an American company is an act of war rather than a criminal matter.)

Bloomberg News (no link): “The North Korean success likely will spawn additional attacks, either repeat episodes involving the Kim government or others. Next time, the target may not be a Hollywood comedy, but an essential part of the U.S. economy.”

Tacit admission Seth Rogen’s “The Interview” isn’t worth very much.

Secondary admission that using cyberwar to turn out the lights in North Korea might not mean much. Since the lights there are out a lot already.

We could hurt their finances: “[Sanctions] froze about $25 million in North Korean deposits.”

“The Interview” cost $42 million. North Korea doesn’t have much in the way of “finances.”

Bloomberg: “The U.S. electric grid and critical infrastructure, such as water plants, are vulnerable to attack.”

Yes, see here. I did mention that if Sony leaks “The Interview” to the net the next option would be for North Korea to turn off the lights in the United States.

Alternatively, Sony could ask the NSA to host and protect “The Interview” on its servers.

Please feel free to throw something in the Xmas pot. It’s been another hard year and I would like to get something inexpensively made in China for guitar-playing.

And if you’d like a digital copy of Loud Folk Live, say so.


  1. Michael said,

    December 22, 2014 at 12:26 pm

    And the funniest thing about this… still no evidence has materialised that implicates North Korea’s government.
    Sure, the warmongers can still play their silly game of ‘cyber war’, ‘retaliate’ against North Korea, but that’s precisely the kind of shit that leads to North Korean government’s alleged actions becoming permissible to begin with.

  2. George Smith said,

    December 22, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    That doesn’t seem to have mattered. Someone blew North Korea off the net starting Friday. The strategy is typically American (although it could easily be -cough- hacktivism): Attack the weak and poor because … freedom!