10.13.10

Ford F-150 Terror

Posted in Bioterrorism, War On Terror at 11:20 am by George Smith


“All advertising is good advertising,” said the Ford exec upon hearing of The Ultimate Mowing Machine article.


The latest issue of al Qaeda’s rubbish magazine, Inspire, is apparently out.

You can read about it here at a terrorism watch site.

Its best bits look to be material only good for black comedy. Like the feature article on using a US-made pickup truck, preferably equipped with a snow plow blade, to run people over.

Astonishingly, it seems to have taken al Qaeda more than ten years to get this strategy into potential development.

Why stop with a Ford F-150? If the jihadi is a bit short on cash, a smaller pickup or even sedans might do. Or you could go Japanese and buy a Toyota Tundra. Now that’s a mighty truck, too.

Just think if those guys bought some guns!

All readers know there have been a bunch of horror movies centered around maniacs terrorizing people with tractor-trailers, starting with the granddad of them all, Duel.

Perhaps tips on jihadi plots could be gained by observing the rental traffic of such movies.

Also contained in Inspire is more wishful thinking about making WMDs at home. It’s been ten years, at least, and no progress on that front. Try as it may, al Qaeda has had great difficulty cultivating and deploying serious scientific talent in the life sciences.

But there are seemingly many among aspiring jihadis who still think they can do something with botulism or castor seeds.

It reads:

“These are some of our suggestions … The best operation however is the one where you come up with an innovative idea that the authorities have not yet turned their attention to, and that leads to maximum casualties or equally important maximum economic losses. Also those brothers of ours who have specialized expertise, and those who work in sensitive locations that would offer them unique opportunities to wreak havoc on the enemies of Allah, should take advantage of their skills. For those mujahid brothers with degrees in microbiology or chemistry lays the greatest opportunity and responsibility. For such brothers, we encourage them to develop a weapon of mass destruction, i.e. an effective poison with the proper method of delivery. Poisonous gases such as nerve gas are not out of reach for the chemist and require simple equipment. A microbiologist would be capable of developing the most effective strains of Clostridium botulinum and thus develop the most lethal toxin of all: botulin. An effective botulin attack administered properly could lead to hundreds if not thousands of casualties. For such brothers we would ask them to take the utmost security precautions and take their time even if that means years … Such an operation is worth the wait. Brothers with less experience in the fields of microbiology or chemistry, as long as they possess basic scientific knowledge, would be able to develop other poisons such as Ricin or Cyanide. Due to the extreme importance of moving the war with America over to the next stage, the stage of weapons of mass destruction, we will, insha’llah, cover such topics in more detail in our upcoming issues.

Promises, promises, fellows. Always with the promises.


DD’s various analyses of al Qaeda’s feeble playing about with poisons and biology:

The Poisoner’s Handbook

From the Poisoner’s Handbook to the Botox Shoe of Death

The Ultimate Jihadist’s Poisons Handbook

Some translations.

Terrorists, the Internet and the Betaluminiun Threat

Horse dropping or cow dropping? Jihadists wonder which is better for poison making.

Playtime Recipes for Poisons: Kamel Bourgass’s notes of mass exaggeration

Hey, this would make a pretty good book. Someone should think of paying me to do one.

4 Comments

  1. Dick Destiny » Shipped mini-IED? Ho-hum said,

    October 29, 2010 at 10:37 am

    […] Two weeks ago DD wrote about al Qaeda’s Inspire magazine here. […]

  2. Dick Destiny » Whoopie Cushion Terror News said,

    December 20, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    […] And in November, the al Qaeda pdf mag, Inspire, wishfully recommended the use of, you guessed it, ricin and cyanide. […]

  3. Dick Destiny » Punch a Yankee, urinate in the ice cube tray, eat sushi and run without paying said,

    May 12, 2011 at 6:30 pm

    […] A few months ago Inspire recommended running over Americans with pickup trucks. […]

  4. Dick Destiny » Brag about your trivial plan against al Qaeda to US newspapers said,

    June 3, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    […] Unless it’s western intelligence making them look stupid by published articles on Ford F-150 t… […]