Not Soiling Yourself Over an EMP Attack? You must’ve voted for Obama

Posted in Crazy Weapons, Extremism at 3:08 pm by George Smith

“Brief analysis shows that our computerized, electronically-dependent society offers any rogue nation a perfect target: an EMP-vulnerable power grid susceptible of a sucker punch to the heart of our infrastructure,” writes a columnist at the star journal for right-wing crackpots, Human Events.

The electromagnetic pulse attack lobby is now exclusively the property of the GOP. It’s a dumping ground for a rich a variety of Republican crazies, a constituency which DD mapped for many years. Like those who believe global warming to be a hoax, the Republican right has electromagnetic pulse fear all locked up.

If one thinks about this paradox, it has a neatly confounding internal anti-logic.

If something is backed up by hard science and poses a real danger for everyone on the planet, the Republican party denies its existence. If, however, the threat is something rather abstract to almost all Americans, rests almost entirely on theoretical prediction, is something not likely to ever occur at all, and then only in the context of what would promise to be an all out nuclear war, the GOP believes in it very strongly.

To paraphrase Paul Krugman characterizing GOP attitudes towards global warming: You could call this crazy conspiracy theory, but doing so would actually be unfair to crazy conspiracy theorists.

“The nightmare scenario of [EMP attack] is this: A rogue nation like North Korea or a stateless terrorist like Bin Laden gets hold of a nuclear weapon and decides not to drive it into a large city but rather to launch it on a Scud-type missile straight into the atmosphere from a barge off the East Coast,” wrote one brilliant theoretician at Slate a couple years ago.

“In fact, [a congressionally chartered commission] discovered that knowledge about EMP is widespread in such places as: China, Cuba, Egypt, India, Iran, Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, North Korea, Pakistan, and Russia,” wrote defense hawk and EMP crazy Frank Gaffney for the Washington Times, also a couple of years ago.

“Several of these nations, and perhaps terrorists that they sponsor, could launch a nuclear-capable ballistic missile from a ship – the sort of attack that poses an especially grave threat to the United States.”

You see, EMP crazy theory has always been immortal Fortress American paranoid voodoo, crap — in other words, a threat which can be glued on anyone: teen hackers, Russia, Cuba, China, North Korea, Iran, al Qaeda, plus miscellaneous other suspects and a half dozen enemies we have yet to find and publicly vilify, like maybe you.

“There is reason to believe the Iranian regime is working toward [an EMP] capability that could destroy America as we know it,” wrote Gaffney in the same opinion piece. He was citing an old GOP stalwart and infamous kook, now run out of Congress and mostly forgotten, Curt Weldon from southeast Pennsylvania.

“In an instant, the world’s superpower could become a candle-powered 19th-century museum,” insisted the brilliant theoretician at Slate in 2006.

So just in case cyberwar hasn’t returned America to the Seventies, there is always electromagnetic pulse terror waiting in the wings to send us back even further, to the time of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.

“One to three missiles tipped with nuclear weapons and armed to detonate at a high altitude to achieve the strongest EMP over the greatest area of the United States would create an EMP ‘overlay’ that triggers a continent-wide collapse of our entire electrical, transportation, and communications infrastructure … Within weeks after such an attack, tens of millions of Americans would perish … We most likely would never recover from the blow,” wrote famous Newt Gingrich, also a card-carrying electromagnetic pulse attack crazy, in March, here.

“The incentive to attack America through EMP is high because the cost to America would be catastrophic,” confirms Kathryn Gaines at Human Events.

“If America were hit with an EMP over the course of one year 90% of Americans would be dead. America would be reduced to third world status,” she adds.

Quite naturally, it is now the Democratic administration’s fault that not enough has been done to defend against electromagnetic attack.

“The current administration is failing to imagine, and so resists planning for an EMP attack,” concludes Gaines. “The government is failing in its primary task of protecting the citizens.”


  1. Bryan Downes said,

    June 30, 2009 at 7:27 am

    Nice phrase: “immortal Fortress American paranoid voodoo crap”, but I think “immortal Festung Amerika paranoid voodoo crap” adds a certain wild-eyed nazi feel to the phrase. Must remember to drop it into conversations.

    Haven’t seen your byline in EL Regfor a while…


    a running-dog lackey of the capitalist imperialist paper tigers and long-time fan of JK Galbraith.

  2. George Smith said,

    June 30, 2009 at 8:15 am

    That’s because el Reg dropped my twice-a-month contribution.

    Festung Amerika is decent, though, having a certain Red Skull, always one of my favorite comic book characters, quality.

  3. bob said,

    July 4, 2009 at 9:34 am

    we are going to eat you first

  4. Doc said,

    July 26, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Yes, I’m afraid of an EMP because of Obama….. :-/

    Why must it -always- be about the black guy??

    What if it’s actually a real issue? What if your Party propaganda is wrong? I for one take EXTREME offense to your Dickless lumping of humanity into two neat piles and the Ad Hominems and other logical fallacies and dirty names you assault us with! “Crazies”?? “Paranoid voodoo crap”??

    We know now that YOU are prejudiced – you played the race card – but what about those of us who don’t DO racial prejudice? How does that fit into your neat little compressed simplistic world-view? “Only a Sith sees in absolutes…”

    I know for a fact that *anyone* can build an EMP device in a weekend with less than $100 in parts from Radio Shack! It may not be the Big One like that bright flash in the sky, but it would be enough to show you that it’s real and dangerous. But Obama ignores it, and that’s good enough for you. Pass the kool-aid…

    For your information, I’m not Republican, never have been and never will be, and I think Ron Paul is crazy for sticking with the GOP and trying to “save” a bunch of NWO cronies who don’t WANT to be saved. I’m a registered Libertarian when I’m not ‘unaffiliated’ or ‘independent’, but woefully ignorant attack articles like this are what gives rise to the “whiny libtard” stereotype that I also despise! Obama is batting for the NWO team, and so are you with this kind of uninformed divisive spew. We The People need to stick together and stop fighting over petty crap, and strike the roots of the problems. This racial infighting and name-calling isn’t going to do it. It just further ensnares us, distracts us from the REAL problems that go back to 1913 and earlier. ALL presidents we’ve had since 1913, save a few notable exceptions (who tried to warn us!) have been salesmen for the NWO. To this day, Bush is the biggest “socialist” we’ve ever had, but I’m sure Obama will catch up, it’s all in the Script. And They always follow The Script…just like they did with “Project For A New American Century”. BOTH sides follow the Script and you, sir, play right into their hands. :-/

    You refuse to see how big a threat an EMP really is, or how hard the science on it is, because you’re too busy playing Party Politics and towing the company lie and trying so very hard to be offended and take false umbrage for the black man. Just like half the articles on CNN right now. :-/ I’m sick of this racist BS from so-called “progressives” who should know better!

    Nice name you chose there, Dick.

  5. George Smith said,

    July 27, 2009 at 9:13 am

    I know for a fact that *anyone* can build an EMP device in a weekend with less than $100 in parts from Radio Shack!

    Love it!

    “I have made an electromagnetic pulse raygun!” someone will [inevitably] write.

    See here.

  6. ted said,

    July 29, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    I have constructed a tacheon reflux bullshitotron and I am not afraid to use it

  7. Mike said,

    September 21, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    God, liberals are glittering JEWELS of colossal ignorance…

  8. meho said,

    July 8, 2010 at 10:05 am

    i designed a emp that blew up my computer. easy shit. Even congo can build something like that. All you need is rockets and ready to go.

  9. George Smith said,

    July 8, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    Here — let me improve your elocution. What you meant to say: “I designed [an] emp that blew up my computer. [Easy] shit … All you need [are] rockets … “

  10. Dick Destiny » GOP continues to grow the EMP Crazy vote said,

    February 22, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    […] So it was written earlier this week in a piece on how the Republican Party has taken years to ensure that it has the vote of every single person concerned about devastating electromagnetic pulse attack. […]