Partial Total Recall

Posted in Phlogiston, Rock 'n' Roll at 7:05 am by George Smith

Unintentional hilarity, from the wire:

Arnold Schwarzenegger is writing a memoir for release in October 2012, according to a statement from Simon & Schuster. Tentatively titled Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story, the book will discuss the breakup of his marriage to Maria Shriver in addition to his youth in Austria and his work in bodybuilding, film, and politics. A source told PEOPLE that the book will “not be a tell-all.”

Of course, to really spice the promotion, a record company should immediately release the two Dick Destiny tunes devoted to Arnold’s hobby of bonking and pawing unfortunate women he’s not married to.

Quite unique, they’re the only rock songs, ever, documenting this celebrity sleaze sex action with various famous Arnold movie bon mots .

This is a good rock song and you know it.

“I vould like to vurk you out! Your ass feels to me very stout!” — From “I Think We Should Make a Carla Sandwich”

[The song] is taken from a description in the The Times of an alleged movie set incident in which Schwarzenegger and his stand-in trapped [a stand-in named Carla] next to a food service table. Schwarzenegger supposedly said: ‘I think we should make a Carla sandwich,’ and the men squeezed her between them. After they released [the woman] … Schwarzenegger stuck his tongue in her mouth.”

In the old days — like mebbe forty years ago — Chuck Eddy would write something amusing as a small bit for the next issue of Creem magazine.

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