Far out. Smiling boy loads wheelbarrow of hay and turds (lower right) at Grange Fair.
From the Centre Daily Times:
Cati Besch, 11, bustled through the swinging door of the rabbit and poultry building, watering and checking in on her two mini rex rabbits, Charlie and S’mores.
The white and brown rabbits earned prizes in Friday morning’s junior rabbit show — Charlie got first place and S’mores got second. Charlie also got second for the “best buck in show” contest.
Sometimes the paint truck can’t stop in time. Sometimes there ain’t enough men to have one out in front as roadkill catcher. Austerity. Gotta trim those local union workers.
And I have a song for that. Roadkill. And I still play it.
Throughout “Rize of the Fenix” — as well as in several appealingly tacky music videos the band has posted online — Tenacious D’s grip on its subject is so firm and its song craft so tight that the music nearly transcends its basis in satire.
“Jack and Kyle are just empirically good,” says John Kimbrough, who produced the new album. “They’re great musicians and they have great taste in records …
[When you want an unvarnished opinion the first thing I always thought was "What does the guy they pay really think?"]
In “Rock Is Dead” they isolate the problem in language unprintable here, and the album’s title track argues that a single hit might do the trick. (At press time “Fenix” was at No. 4 on iTunes’ album chart.)
“We’re a dying breed,” Gass acknowledged with a knowing frown. “I think the genre needs to reinvent itself …
Satire? If so, Tenacious D is satire for an audience that can’t quite spell the word. Telegraphed sight gags with Dio and Meatloaf imitation is more likely.
This is satire.
See what happens when you’re so famous the hired help won’t say “Boo!” to your dogshit?
Tenacious D was scheduled to kick off their tour in Santa Barbara today. I blew town just in time.
So yesterday Mark Zuckerberg played to the national lickspittle crowd, as usual, with his new “organ donation tool.”
Is Mark thinking it will get him the Nobel, or perhaps a great inventor/discoverer and humanitarian award alongside the doctors, Jonas Salk and Albert Sabin, who came up with the vaccines for polio?
Only Zuckerberg is more efficient and tight, needing a few lines of code to mark on your Facebook profile that you wish to donate your organs.
Of course, if you don’t have work or an insurance plan and you need an organ transplant, it won’t help. But you can still let Facebook know that you’ll donate your organs to the people who have medical insurance and need your liver or heart.
Remember to keep your wall info current so they know where to pick up your body.
Big ups, Saint Mark Zuckerberg! Ten million likes!
Instead of noting at the mortuary, or in the car wreck, or in the hospital room, that the license pulled from the wallet on your corpse shows you to be an organ donor upon departing the earthly existence, they can just fire up Facebook and tell. (Note that so extensive was all the bootlicking, the link for driver licenses/organ donors’ search term has to be crafted with “-Zuckerberg” to get his contaminating mug out of the picture gallery.)
If they know your login and password. Damn! It’s not in the sticky note pasted on the morgue monitor!
Well, anyway, as soon as you’re dead, through the power of magic, perhaps the life-giving Facebook tool will notify the nearest organ reclamation center near you with an automatic e-mail.
And hopefully it won’t get sent to the junk folder and they’ll arrive within that short window of time before you become too rotten to use. And that they’ll believe it’s really you that’s dead, not someone else who is either pretending to be you in cyberspace, or with a similar name the Facebook search engine returned.
Mark’s life-giving Facebook tool, much like the invention of the telephone by Alexander Graham Bell. The telephone, a life-giving tool, has saved millions and millions of lives during its existence, so who can say what the future holds for Mark’s few lines of code!
And the computer keyboard! Let’s not forget the inventor of the software driver that sends the tapping of text to the lowly computer!
Or the app in your iPhone that speed dials 911 because it can connect you one or two entire seconds faster than you can manually. That must certainly be a life-giving tool, too!
Well, anyway, Mark’s tool — thought up in minutes just chatting over dinner about children who need organ transplants! Maybe after a few glasses of really good wine. God knows what the this man will come up with next when he really sets his mind to it!
But wait … I’m feeling a pain … in my arm … getting hard … to … breathe! Tell the people to come. And … that … I … wish to … be … an organ donor … in payment … for all the mean and thoughtless things … I have said!!
Tell ‘em not to take my heart because that’s what’s failing. But the spleen, that’s in really good condition.
