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Teaser excerpts from Shit from WhiteManistan, a new Taschen coffee table art book on folk customs in America.
Plate 1: Sedition is Tradition Memorial Parade, July 4, Water Moccasin, NC.
Plate 2: Celebration gathering on news that a nuclear attack sub being refurbished in the nearby Norfolk navy yard was being renamed the John Wilkes Booth. (Lexington, VA.)
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Because nothing says you’re just an ordinary white guy ordering a hamburger at the lunch joint with everyone else like going to the Austin capitol building park on a Sunday afternoon with your assault rifle as a gesture of good will and civic outreach. The heart swells at the unique citizenship of an assault rifle carrying-biker wrapped up and looking like the Invisible Man in an old army helmet, only with the American flag colors in place of the bandages. Or the utterly unsurprising image of a fellow who appears to have creatively modified his Klan uniform into just a normal bed sheet or something.
Visit Texas today! The barbecue is great!
Just normal friendly folks like you!
Even made the police a little nervous as you can see here.
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For sheer pathetic embarrassment there is little that tops a bunch of middle-aged white guys in the south waving confederate flags in 2013. Let’s march on the court house, boys! Who’s with me? Yearrghhhh!
From a Roanoke, VA, newspaper:
Supporters of a Sons of Confederate Veterans anti-ordinance rally held at Hopkins Green in Lexington wave flags to protest a Lexington City ordinance that would effectively ban flags, such as the Confederate flag, from flying from public lamp posts.
The city did not wish to be vexed by pests using its property and banned all non-governmental flags. A Federal Court affirmed the ordinance.
The comments are worth browsing, coming as they do from always the most eloquent and vigorous of WhiteManistan.
“When will this crap cease, the battle flag is a Christian symbol and it represents valor, honor, family, duty, and it has nothing to do with slavery,” protests one citizen. “The war for Southern Independence was economic because Lincoln knew the south was a rich nation, and losing cotton would be detrimental to their economy …”
And then it really gets in gear.
Damn Commies!
H/t to Frank at Pine View Farm for the eagle eye.
One paradox associated with the benighted who treasure the Stars and Bars is the belief that it marks them as rebels. This is seen throughout lily white country music, more prominently among the young artists who use it in videos as touchstone for fans.
Because it’s common it’s actually a sign of dim-witted conformity: Please like me because I’m part of the social club (albeit, one of a clueless tribe working at being seen as people who deserve being shunned.)
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I’ve refrained from commenting on the Washington Post’s feature-length profile of Ted Nugent for the 4th of July weekend because of its nature as a troll piece.
The purpose of a newspaper troll piece is to put something up so ridiculous and annoying it guarantees eyeballs from around the web.
And so it is with the piece on Ted Nugent. Reporter Steve Hendrix visited Nugent in Waco, using the opportunity to get the man to admit he’s thinking of running for President.
Of course this is a lie. Even Nugent knows he couldn’t get elected, except in a region that puts people like Louie Gohmert in office.
It’s almost worth wishing for because a Ted Nugent for President run would hasten the GOP’s total collapse. Ted Nugent’s appeal is in rallying the crazy stupid, stupid crazy, and mean — of WhiteManistan.
Hendrix writes this, at one point:
There are Web sites devoted to collecting and sorting and linking to the vast litany of misdeeds and accusations Nugent has accumulated over the rock-star decades: his recent no-contest pleas to deer hunting with bait in California and taking one black bear too many in Alaska (he says both prosecutions were politically motivated) …
That would be here, for one, where Hendrix picked up the information on Nugent being tossed from a big summer festival in Michigan back in 2003 for flinging slurs — one of them being the “n-word” — on a radio show. It was published on DD blog, along with a packet of old clippings about the matter, three years ago.
A correction the Post added to Hendrix’s Nugent profile best captures its meretricious quality:
An earlier version of this article incorrectly says that he raised five children. Nugent fathered nine children, three of whom lived at home with him. This version has been corrected.
Perhaps the correction could have added the majority of Nugent’s children were illegitimate, although the story makes it obvious once you dig through enough of it.
The article makes one good, if obvious, point. Ted Nugent is catnip for the mainstream media. He is one of America’s most visible raging assholes and there’s a lot of money in that.
Nugent-like characters are not uncommon in American history. Joe McCarthy, Roy Cohn and Gordon Liddy come to mind. In the past, however, their nasty character eventually achieved a counter-productive critical mass, doing them in. That doesn’t happen now, more just means more.
Yes, by all means, Ted Nugent for President! He’ll be the only person ever to run for the office who was investigated by the Secret Service for potentially threatening remarks made in reference to the current office-holder. When the Secret Service arrives at your door, everyone knows it’s to hand out the John Wilkes Booth Memorial Medal of Good Citizenship.
Could you think of a better qualification in the Republican Party? Bring on the merriment that the world might be made richer with the laughter.
Will really rally the missing women, Hispanic, gay, African American and youth vote.
No link. Too easy.
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In Civil War 2 today, WhiteManistan lost a small one when Missouri’s governor vetoed a nullification act.
Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon has vetoed legislation that would have made it a crime for federal agents to try to enforce gun control laws.
Nixon, a Democrat, stated the Constitution gives federal law “supremacy” over state law. The proposed law would have made it a misdemeanor for federal agents to enforce national regulations pertaining to guns in the Show Me state when they conflicted with “the people’s right to keep and bear arms.”
On the other hand there is North Carolina, a state moving assertively to win a title as the new heart of American sedition with new legislation requiring voter ID, new legislation to curtail abortion and law to fight the non-existent problem of shariah in the US.
Candidate McCrory tried to occupy a middle ground on the hot-button issue, saying he would not sign any further restrictions on abortion into law. But as governor, McCrory has been following the lead of conservative Republican veto-proof super-majorities in the state House and Senate. A wave of proposals — from voter-ID restrictions to cutbacks on unemployment payments – has resulted in push-back from protesters who continue to show up inside and outside the state capitol in Raleigh each week.
Hundreds more made their way to Raleigh to shout “shame??? at the state Senate’s actions this week. The GOP majority attached new abortion restrictions to a bill that would ban North Carolina family courts from considering foreign laws [GOP/Tea Party code for “shariah law”] and passed it by a 29-12 vote.
The bill would require abortion clinics to meet standards similar to those for outpatient surgery clinics, and critics say majority of the state’s 16 licensed abortion clinics would not qualify …
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Have a good 4th. Eat hot dogs or something. I will.
It has the John Philip Sousa feel. I asked him for help when I wrote it.
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Or, shit WhiteManistan thinks.
It was obviously not as much fun being on the Union side.
From a USA Today piece on the re-enactment in Gettysburg, yesterday:
Kevin Farrar, a Confederate re-enactor from Lovettsville, Va., said it was “mind-boggling” to think of the mile-long march that Confederate troops endured under heavy fire. “It’s like the beaches of Normandy,” he said.
[Um, no, wrong on too many levels.]
No photo subject was more popular than a smartly dressed Gen. Robert E. Lee, played by Don Vanhart, a 58-year-old surgical technician from Maine, N.Y.
One noticeable feature of the recent faddy Gettysburg stories is that in interviewing the folk of WhiteManistan, they’re mostly only interested in talking about the South.
In reading Shelby Foote’s three volume history of it (I’m on the first book), the author states that after about the first six months, troops on either side which had been in battle were on equal footing.
This, counter to the common myth that the Confederate soldier, used to hunting more and “living outside,” was superior to “the pasty-faced mechanics” of the Union.
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Marvel has never been a big fan of WhiteManistan.
But it does corny really well, as this old promo shows.
From the archives: Is WhiteManistan un-American?
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This week, along with the 150th anniversary of Gettysburg, the 35th anniversary of Texxas Jam, the high water mark of WhiteManistan Rock.
Now painful memories.
Go to the theatre, pay 20+ dollars, sob into popcorn in humiliation and the ravages of time.
Music Trivia: Watch as film from the teaser pans over the sea of flesh that’s the happy crowd. Thirty two years later many of them voted for the WhiteManistan male crabs now picking on women and trying to outlaw abortion in Texas. Man, we were so hip.
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What piece of profound ignorance was published for the fad of marking the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg today, Daddy?
This, put forward by the Google News robots, idiot citations excerpted:
Peter Carmichael, director of the Civil War Institute in Gettysburg, said there was much flag waving with “not much substance behind it.”
“Southern symbols have come under attack in a way that didn’t happen 10 years ago,” he said.
Many people whose ancestors fought (in) the Civil War feel besieged” and say “the Civil War cause has nothing to do with slavery.”
“They say it is a war between the big government and small governments,” he added.
“It’s a heritage,” said Chuck Faust, one of about 200,000 history buffs expected to descend on this corner of Pennsylvania over the next 10 days to relive what happened here.
“Slavery was not the issue,” said the 52-year-old dressed up as a Union horseman and donning a blue cap.
“State rights were the initial issue.”
When the Confederate flag makes its way onto T-shirts worn by youngsters, it is a “symbol of rebellion,” he added.
Historian Brain Jordan, for one, noted that the presence of Confederate flags was more pronounced in Gettysburg than in the South.
Jamie Malanowski, meanwhile, said one should not boil down Southern culture and heritage to the “outdated, retrograde, racist, separatist and defeated” Confederacy.
Or, for that matter, the Tea Party — an ultra conservative US political movement.
“American culture is so strongly a Southern culture,” he added, pointing to jazz great Louis Armstrong and even barbecues.
Save us from another in the army of fat white guy writers who, for the sake of being diplomatic about progress, blithely points out that American culture is Southern culture.
So, in this manner, Louis Armstrong, an African American, can be inserted into an odious discussion about the nature of the Civil War and the battle of Gettysburg, which marked the beginning of the end for the Confederacy.
Consider that one again. Louis Armstrong presented as proof of the beacon of southern culture, rather than — er, maybe — someone who became an icon in spite of southern culture.
My head almost exploded.
It did not because of the last five or so years and the appearance of Tea Party bigots waving signs claiming Martin Luther King, Jr., was a Republican, Ted Nugent calling his rock and roll excursion the Black Power Tour, and about 90 percent of the GOP using the battle-cry — “Democrats started the KKK!” — in the last few months. (And lest we forget, the adoption of the “Sic Semper Tyrannis,” the imprecation of John Wilkes Booth, as suitable for T-shirts and posters.)
You get hardened. Or, perhaps, seasoned — a gentler word.
And maybe the folk blues should be really attributed to the southern slave owners, too, because without them, how would have African Americans ever come up with it?
Much in common with the man attesting the Civil War was about “states rights.” Paisley thought “Accidental Racist” would win him praise. Instead, it 86’d his new album in one week. Both instances of the complete cognitive disconnect in WhiteManistan.
Paisley’s song of treacly moaning about being a misunderstood southern boy sounds even more pathetic than the day it was leaked. It is the very essence of awful.
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