Grenade explodes at 45 seconds. Today’s viral video for the bona fide American idiot class.
Four years ago, ninnies in the US media published the ridiculous unattributed nonsense that the most famous physical fitness freak in the world consumed 12,000 calories a day.
This year, it was revived, eventually triggering the viral video above, created by someone who has made a career exploiting personal brain damage and the thrill hundreds of thousands of stupid people get from sharing the disgusting things of the world.
“[Like] … Olympics hero Michael Phelps, reportedly eats anywhere from 6,000 to 12,000 calories per day when training, roughly the calorie load of three to six large pizzas.” — the Boston Herald, 2008
Swimmer Michael Phelps’s next career may be in competitive eating. Besides grabbing five gold medals at the Beijing Olympics so far, making him the winningest Olympic athlete ever, he’s got to be setting new marks on the chow line.
A New York Post account of Phelps’s… wait for it… 12,000-calorie-a-day diet, gave us a stomachache. Could one human being really consume that much and still be in Phelps’s shape? And could this possibly be healthy for Phelps, even considering his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week exercise regimen?
Here’s Phelps’s typical menu. (No, he doesn’t choose among these options. He eats them all, according to the Post.)
Breakfast: Three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise. Two cups of coffee. One five-egg omelet. One bowl of grits. Three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar. Three chocolate-chip pancakes. — Wall Street Journal, 2008
Anyone who followed Michael Phelps’ astonishing performance in the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games surely will remember one of the secrets of his success: Consuming as many as 12,000 calories in a day. — some twat who writes a food blog at NPR, a couple days ago
Much to the chagrin of binge dieters everywhere, it turns out that Michael Phelps’ “garbage disposal” routine of eating 12000 calories a day … — some twat at the Guardian, a few days ago
Phelps, the Olympic diet doesn’t sound like much of one at all, with the daily calorie intake creeping upwards of 12000 calories a day. — LAist
Michael Phelps told NBC he eats 12,000 calories a day — six times the recommended normal for an average adult male. –a twat at Discovery
While swimmer Michael Phelps gets paid to talk about how Subway provides some of the 12000 calories he consumes every day … — a twat at Slate
Swimmer Michael Phelps, who won won eight gold medals at the 2008 Olympics, eats 12000 calories a day when in training to meet his energy .. — Mason City Gazette, late July
Swimming superstar Michael Phelps once claimed he scoffed up to 12000 calories a day. — ABC News affiliate
Not one thought to add the disclaimer: “What a load of shit.”
“Wednesday, Phelps told Ryan Seacrest in an interview ….
“I never ate that much,” Phelps said. “It’s all a myth. I’ve never eaten that many calories.”
Poor commie ladies. As if it wasn’t enough to be from North Korea.
What the Anzac said:
“I wouldn’t like it if our team did that,” New Zealand Coach Tony Readings said. “When teams concede [goals] they’re disappointed and they want to get on with the game. But it’s obviously something the Americans do.
“It’s something I guess they work on in training. We try to work on scoring goals. We haven’t got time to work on celebrations. If it makes them happy and they win games, then good for them.”
The more angry overweight white people of the Republican Party franticly go on about their imagined persecution through the “homosexual agenda,” the better. If only to show everyone not in their sorry tribe how horrible and insane they are.
From Right Wing Watch, the cyclic blurt arguing that Hollywood will turn the country completely gay, sooner than you think:
Now Charisma has posted an article by Louis Sheldon, the founder of the Traditional Values Coalition entitled “The Plan for a Gay (Domi) Nation??? …
“Today, based on the large number of primetime TV shows that currently feature openly gay characters, you have to believe that the most favored and most protected type of sexuality is homosexuality. Over the last decade, overtly pro-gay programs such as Will and Grace, Queer as Folk, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, The L Word and Glee have been designed to desensitize Americans to the genuine risks of the homosexual agenda. Again, homosexuals are invariably portrayed as funny, sensitive and caring individuals …
“At the same time, critics of homosexuality are portrayed as bigoted and ignorant homophobes who have to learn to accept homosexuality as a valid lifestyle choice …”
It’s a crime.
You have heard that it was said to the people in the old days, ‘You shall not commit buggery.’ But I say to you that every man who looks forward to watching Glee, RuPaul’s Drag Race, Logo TV and the other toxins from the Hollywood Sodomites has already committed buggery in his heart. — Chapter 1, The Compleat Sayings of American Jesus
Last night I broke out the original vinyl Chrome box set on Subterranean Records. Quite an original piece, a six album set issued by a band hardly anyone knew. With almost no distribution, it is now old and totally unique, forbidding looking as ever and in mint condition, fruit of doing a fanzine in ’82 at Lehigh University in Bethlehem.
We did a lot of neat things that year. In addition to science.
After three decades, between just No Humans Allowed, Blood on the Moon, Half Machine Lip Moves and Alien Soundtracks, Chrome’s box set still shows the band’s good idiosyncratic sci-fi take on what, underneath all the clatter and funny noises, is fairly conventional hard rock.
Much better recorded than given credit for, special effects and tape snippets were what threw people, making it seem … alien. The rhythm tracks are excellent. Even today most would not know it’s a drum machine on the majority unless told.
Remember, this was before the Linn drum and ubiquitous sampled drums on the pop hit records of the Eighties, so I’m thinking it was directly a response to someone being a fan of the obscure — Arthur Brown’s Kingdom Come and an old machine called the Bentley Rhythm Ace.
All analog, the vocals go through fuzzes, everything gets piped through something like an old Seamoon Funk Machine or flanged, and it’s mixed warm but sinister, a personal interpretation of American war technology and the space age — Insect Human/Slip It to the Android/A Cold Clammy Bombing/You’ve Been Duplicated — in the post Vietnam disillusionment. (Seamoon was in Berkeley and Chrome was basically two guys in San Francisco, so they could have easily had one.)
The Chrome title that got the most focus was Half Machine Lip Moves and it’s the most memorable, but Blood On the Moon and the others are all of a piece. And they never did it live although they sure sounded like they could.
I used to think of Chrome as a kind of stilted sci-fi concept combo that masqueraded as an arty hard rock band in the late ’70s, mostly to ill effect, on much lauded things like Half-Machine Lip Moves. At one point, I had even hypnotized myself into believing that Chrome’s inherent difficulty made them listenable. Moving to the West Coast made busted matchwood of that when I had to decide what to keep for the moving van and what to throw out.
“During the 1970s Chrome’s music did not fit into any particular music scene in America,” reads a Wikipedia entry, with unintentional dry hilarity. Ya think?
A couple years back I discovered that while my mother had thrown out all the original Chrome records I’d bought separately prior to getting the box as a review copy, I’d apparently stashed the latter away in a case that made it to Pasadena.
Little surprises! Now it sells for 150 bucks, cash money.
And I re-hypnotized myself into admiration for the material. Stilted? Sci-fi? Guilty. Hard rock. Definitely. Long re-listening when you’ve nothing to do will have that effect.
The Chrome box is not the same. Some things, one guesses, still can’t be duplicated without more hard work than the age of digital theft will accommodate. That would be a good thing.
YouTube allows big important people to do stuff not allowed to anyone else. In this case, it lets NBC and US Swimming block embeds without making it patently obvious. As is the case with everyone else.
If you’re just Joe Shlabotnik you can disarm embedding but YouTube will tell users you have done so.
So the preferred client’s tactic, the important person, people or business with cash money and fame, is given a sneaky way of getting the video onto sites worldwide as a device that silently reverts to a backlink. It’s a way of rigging the system, using the working assumption that the viewer will get the “blocked” message and choose to view it on YouTube anyway, where they will be exposed to the maximum advertising potential.
So after a couple days, and after the glee of the culture of lickspittle has seen to it that it has been distributed everywhere, the minders stealthily placed a block on all other domains except their own, at NBC here.
And it’s only a strategy that works with people who already have it all, who can virtually guarantee their stuff will get passed around and published everywhere upon immediate release. Joe Blow average videographer on YouTube could never mount such a strategy.
It was blocked at DD blog here. After working for a day or so, it’s hard to say.
No, millions and millions of views aren’t enough for our conceited celebrity athletes and their grasping presenters.
It must be spread around to all news organizations and media sites, too. But only working on those places that support the maximum accumulation of advertising revenue is what they’re really after.
It’s actually kind of neat to find they’re just what you believe them to be — astonishingly greedy puffed up control freaks and pismires.
Alert viewers will note poor six foot one US celebrity teen swimmer Missy Franklin, who we were informed earlier would be taxed at least $14,000 dollars on her medals, was in virtually every scene of the video.
Freudian: Original post led with ‘Yahoo’ instead of YouTube.
GOP Gay-hater Chicken becomes rallying cry for national horde of overweight really angry white people aggrieved at the attack on their free speech and the anti-liberty, anti-American tyranny of all the damned liberals and homos.
Many conservatives blamed liberals, saying that their calls for tolerance ring hollow in the face of hateful graffiti.
Chick-Fil-A thing is just another example of people forgetting what made the US great. OK to disagree with people and not hate. #freespeech
The left. Always destroying, never creating: “Tastes Like Hate” Painted on Torrance Chick-fil-A. nbclosangeles.com/news/loca… #tcot #teaparty
Chick Fil A could say they hate women and I would still eat there.
If anyone strikes at your right to say how you object to Sodomites and liberals, go to Twitter and Facebook; and if anyone would go to Chick-fil-A and see man kissing man and woman upon woman, gather together in a fattish crowd for defense. Unless they are way out in the parking lot, then you’re safe. — Chapter 1, The Compleat Sayings of American Jesus.
Ridiculous news story, complaining Italy pays its gold medal winners, of which it has hardly any, too much:
With many countries in the world facing financial difficulties, there is greater focus on how much money governments are spending on Olympic athletes or Olympic-related events.
Raising eyebrows, Italy’s $182,400 payout to any Italian who wins a gold medal. That’s the highest payout in the world.
DD blog readers know what comes next. Since the US is the world champion of bragging, having eclipsed France in talent long ago, there must be something that shows us more virtuous and noble. We would never indulge in such gold-plated largess. US Olympians aren’t spoiled. Our US Olympic Committee is among the cheapest in the world, keeping the compensation down, presumably so it doesn’t go to anyone’s head:
In the U.S., gold medal winners get $25,000, $15,000 for silver and $10,000 for bronze. This is not government money, it’s paid by the U.S. Olympic Committee ..,
Taxes on a gold medal could run as high as $8,986, while silver could be $5,385. On a bronze metal, the tax might be $3,500.
The piece notes poor Missy Franklin, still in high school, will owe $14,000 in taxes for her medals.
Who would believe such shit? Yeah, our celebrity Olympians get no money. They’ve passed it up for the glory of sport.
“When she and her parents talk about college, the Franklins say they’re going to sit down and have a discussion if sponsors come calling,” it reads here. Took about two seconds to find that.
“After all, she’s one of the girls who starred in and helped produce USA Swimming’s Call Me Maybe video spoof, a good team-bonding activity.”
Conversely, geographic advantages don’t guarantee permanent success, as the growing difficulties in Europe and America show. We Americans fail to provide superior education and economic incentives to much of our population. India, China and other countries that have not been world leaders are investing heavily in education, technology and infrastructure. They’re offering economic opportunities to more and more of their citizens. That’s part of the reason jobs are moving overseas. Our geography won’t keep us rich and powerful if we can’t get a good education, can’t afford health care and can’t count on our hard work’s being rewarded by good jobs and rising incomes …
Before the Cybersecurity 2012 went down to defeat, there was a massive lobbying effort for it, based on exaggerated scenarios of looming catastrophe.
OVER the last decade, the United States has built a sophisticated security system to protect the nation’s seaports against terrorists and criminals. But our nation’s critical infrastructure is not similarly secured from cyberattack. Although we have made progress in recent years, Congressional action is needed to ensure that our laws keep pace with the electronically connected world we live in. The bipartisan Cybersecurity Act of 2012, currently before the Senate, offers a way forward.
A disruption of our electric grid or other critical infrastructure could temporarily cripple the American economy. What’s less well known is that such an attack could threaten the nation’s defense as well …
This legislation is a critical step for defending America’s infrastructure against the clear and present cyberthreats we face.
Readers know how effortlessly the very important national security experts and policy makers massage newspapers, television and the Internet in the run ups to getting things they want.
Those pursuing expanded funding of cyberdefense, more predatory and invasive technical and legislative protocols, always add that they want to have a debate, to bring to public discourse, the issues of the matter.
This is not what they mean at all. What they really want, and what they always get, is a free ride to publicizing, with approval, whatever claims they have come up with to push their arguments. And in the past few weeks, as always, they generally got everything they wanted.
Paradoxically, Cybersecurity 2012 failed — not because of the value of any criticism — but because of the politics of our time: the Republican party’s unrelenting opposition to anything pushed by the Obama administration.
In the two bits chosen for comparison, Jared Diamond’s comes from a criticism of Mitt Romney, who misinterpreted his book Guns, Germs and Steel, thinking it taught “one factor explanations for multicausal problems.”
The opinion piece by Ashton Carter, a relatively undistinguished career government appointee who has been around since the Clinton administration, was — like every bit on Cybersecurity 2012 before it’s defeat — a one-factor riff.
The country’s cyberdefenses need strengthening because a cyberattack will turn off the power, cripple the economy, take down the national military, do something to the water, and result in ‘the greatest transfer of wealth in history.”
Readers see the difference. There are “multicausal problems” behind our national weakness and failure. Attacks on the nation through cyberspace are not the problem.
The Senate’s failure to move forward on a bill to strengthen U.S. computer defenses leaves little chance that Congress can find a compromise this year, as lawmakers turn their attention to November’s election.
The chamber’s Democratic leadership failed yesterday to get the 60 votes needed to force a final vote on the cybersecurity measure before the Senate leaves this week for an August recess. The vote was 52-46, largely along party lines, as most Republicans opposed a bill their leaders called a burden for businesses …
The Republicans’ roadblock was a setback for President Barack Obama’s administration, which tried to build support through a series of briefings for senators on potential dangers of a digital attack on the nation’s infrastructure, including a simulated assault on New York City’s power grid …
Cyber attacks on U.S. computer networks increased 17-fold from 2009 through 2011, General Keith Alexander, director of the National Security Agency and the U.S. Cyber Command, said last month, citing reports that digital adversaries have stolen $1 trillion of U.S. intellectual property.
Of course, the Republicans didn’t block this for any reason related to the issue of cybersecurity. It was blocked because, y’know, it was the socialist in the White House’s thing.
Oh, hai. No can haz cyberdefense against greatest transfer of wealth in history this year.
