08.21.12

The New Plaster Casters

Posted in Crazy Weapons, Culture of Lickspittle at 1:20 pm by George Smith

From here, months ago:

In modern America, there are plaster casters all over the place. In the culture of lickspittle it’s been turned into a serious career track.

And by this I don’t mean people who fluff rockstars so their tumescence can be lovingly preserved. I mean it far more metaphorically, as in those who act as fellatrices for various agencies and industries in our allegedly technologically superior country …

Fussell never imagined the explosion of things of this ilk on the network … Print kept the number of such pubs small because even though execrable, it still took a good deal of money and resources to do it right.

However, web publishing did away with all that and, today, in full cooperation with the culture of lickspittle and its glory, there are literally hundreds of digital pubs for those who get hard reading about the products of US weapons shops.

And because there is a big audience with such a pathology, the publications that serve them are essentially groupie mags — like Tiger Beat — only staffed with journalists who write daily swooning copy on what I’ve called The Empire’s Dog Feces.

The web publications compete viciously with each other for the stories of the day, even the insignificant. The quality of journalism is terrible. The publications pay their contributors in … gum, little or nothing at all except the opportunity to be published and be in the Google news dragnet.

So it comes as no surprise when a few of them fall for jokes:

News flash: The Pentagon is replacing the classic stabbing bayonet on rifles with a tomahawk “designed for quick chopping motions” complete with a twist-off head providing room for storage. And, the Department of Defense is ordering troops to stop wearing the popular TapouT MMA T-shirts because of security concerns.

Believable? Maybe, but not true.

With a hint of truth these cheeky fake news stories recently duped some serious blogs. Both Gizmodo and Yell magazine happened to mistake the posts on The Duffel Blog, a five-month old satirical website, for real news.

The owner of the Duffel Blog, which is wildly successful, tells NBC News:

“I do want to make people laugh,” Szoldra said, “but at the same time I do have a little bit of a following, a bully pulpit if you will, where I can highlight something that I think is worth making fun of and a lot of time it’s better to make fun of it than it is to just complain about it.”

Good boy. But no, it is never not good to crap on shit.

Last week, here:

If you’re in a tech firm you can tell a Wired reporter you piss iced tea and they’ll publish it without blinking.

And it gets easier as you proceed down the ladder.

Some nobody at Gizmodo:

“The problem with the US military is that sometimes their contraptions get so wacky that I can believe anything they say,” Gizmodo’s blogger wrote. “My mistake, people. Sorry about that.

And after twenty years of covering the ‘so wacky’ you know fantasy, or satire, as it where, when you see it. Instead of taking it for inside dope.

The Duffel Blog.

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