09.10.12
Facebook world of suck
One of the great advantages of Facebook’s automatic hiding of comment threads: Celebrity death hoaxes flourish.
Think of it this way. You’re a bona fide prick and determined to show something no one else has, ever — that it’s easy to trick people on the web! And what better way to do it than to launch a hoax: Beloved actor Morgan Freeman has passed away!
Make a short obit that only sorta looks like it came from someplace concerned and authoritative, like a newspaper, with picture, and share on Facebook!
Watch an army of idiots spread it.
Don’t worry about those who show up to post coments like, “Look people, Morgan Freeman is not dead!” Facebook will quickly hide them and the only thing most will see in their newsfeeds is the announcement that the poor man croaked suddenly, along with a huge number of likes, share and comments.
And there will be lots of comments, by people vainly posting that Morgan’s not dead. Heck, Mr. Freeman could show up himself! All of it to be ignored, hidden away, because that’s how Facebook works.
The large numbers displayed will convince people there’s been an outpour of regret because ‘Mericans stupid people believe such figures on social networks mean important news and shit is brewing. It’s the wisdom of crowd-sourcing, boiled down to one or two simple and infallible metrics.
So quick, go and post your thing about Morgan Freeman, or anyone else — as long as they’re famous, dying.
Or post an obit of someone who died seven years ago, like Bob Denver, and watch the users rush to share it while Facebook hides all the attempts at rectification: “Hey people, I liked Gilligan, too, and was sad when he passed but that was …”
Or post spam, with a picture, of some poor animal that was tortured to death or mistreated somewhere in Jugoslavia or Trans Dniester …
Those are red hot, too.
