11.14.13
Postcards from WhiteManistan
WhiteManistan’s Minister of Public Bigots, Ted Nugent, devotes his weekly column at World Net Daily to a bizarre shooting at a barbershop/gambling parlor in Detroit.
It’s the usual dog whistle for old white Republicans who just know, just know, that all cities are violent cesspools of African American gangsters made that way by decades of Democratic welfare programs.
But, to his best writing (“best” being an elastic and relative term) which signals the age of his audience:
“The AP reported that three Detroiters recently got more than a haircut at Al’s. Seems they ended up on a cold slab at the Motorcity’s cooler after a couple of hatchmen [sic — ‘henchmen’ or possibly, ‘hatchetmen’ ] with roscoes filled Al’s Barbershop with hot lead. Six or so other people were taken by the band-aid bus to the local hospital.”
The cooler! Roscoes! Hot lead! Band-aid bus! The first three are old noir gold but I don’t think ‘band-aid bus’ was ever popular in an Edward G. Robinson or Bogart movie.
“No one will say the trigger pullers are punks, thugs and urban degenerates,” writes Ted, but he will, many times in the space of a few paragraphs, god bless.
The best Ted prose delivers to the old peoples of WhiteManistan the same message, to them irrefutable logic, so in this the “hatchmen urban degenerates” of Al’s are only the essay’s conveniences:
“If Mr. Obama wants to blame something for this other than the punks who pulled the trigger, he might want to inform America that for the past 50 years social welfare programs designed, engineered and promoted by liberals have wreaked havoc on black families across America.”
I myself had to dodge a spray of bullets in Pasadena, just yesterday.
Sarah Palin kicked off her book tour in Bethlehem, WhiteManistan, where I used to live and work, a couple days ago.
From the local paper, where I also did stuff:
” ‘She is the embodiment of American exceptionalism,’ said Ronnie DelBacco of Easton … [Palin’s book] attacks the idea that modern, consumerist America is at war with the religious symbolism of Christmas and even the greeting, ‘Merry Christmas.’ Palin writes of Scrooges, who often exhibit liberal or left-wing tendencies, like listening to National Public Radio, and their failure to grasp the true meaning of the season.”
Scrooges of left-wing tendencies, as far as something from an American exceptional gold-plated dummkopf goes, is pretty good!
If I were still at the newspaper I would have lobbied to do a Nightclubbing on the event, considerably more amusing, and a guarantor of a bag of colorful hate-mail the next day.
Because as virtually all Americans know, when it comes to the work of Dickens, the most famous character is Ebenezer Scrooge, liberal Commie!