06.10.10

The Weekly Coot

Posted in Extremism, Rock 'n' Roll, Ted Nugent at 8:59 am by George Smith

This week’s WaTimes wisdom from mean old coot Ted Nugent:

The reason the Obama administration does not want to enforce our immigration laws is that they want to make Democratic slaves (voters) of these illegal immigrants …

The WaTimes should ask Ted to delve into the gray cells more deeply. He’s not giving them their money’s worth, as this has been so much a favorite of the GOP it qualifies as a golden oldie.

The next Tedly excerpt invites readers to play a game of anemic ‘logical’ constructions:

If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely stop the invasion of illegal immigrants pouring across our porous border …

You can play along, too. DD will show you how with a few examples.

1. If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely stop the Deep Horizon oil spill!

2. If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely fix mass unemployment!

3. If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely eliminate the growing need for food stamps in this country!

4. If Ted Nugent made “Cat Scratch Fever,” he can surely write another album that will put him back in the stadiums!

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Ted’s WaTimes columns are so unintentionally hilarious, it’s clear he must spend virtually no time on them.

That’s because he’s busy — on tour in the heart of the nation this summer, playing places like the Donna Corn Maze, a surf ballroom in the middle of Iowa and Fort Smith, Arkansas.

“Ted Nugent will perform at 8 p.m. July 13 at Neumeier’s’ Rib
Room & Beer Garden, 817 Garrison Ave., and those attending will
hear great music and see what possibly could be an unscripted,
rock-and-roll experience,” reads the Fort Smith newspaper.

Venue owner Bill Neumeier told the newspaper:

Uncle Ted always gets wild on stage … Ted Nugent will be the biggest star to have ever played on the Rib Room’s stage … Now to have him on my stage, well, it’s a dream come true, and I hope it’s a dream come true for fans in Fort Smith.

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