06.14.10
The Texas Coot’s Biggest Fan
Is not me. No, it’s himself.
However, DD is so impressed by Ted’s WaTimes columns, including this week’s in which he breaks his arm patting himself on the back, I’ve decided to turn over the entire blog to rechanneling the wisdom of Nugent.
Only kidding. Sort of. At least for this minute.
“The embarrassing disconnect of an increasingly spoiled nation of freedom abusers has created a serious anti-American mess here, and I just thought the old guitar player could shine the spotlight of common sense on some ridiculously simple basics for y’all,” writes Nugent, in what seems like a sign-off.
Nugent reveals he’s had double-knee surgery, if you cared, before delivering some pro forma praise of the jobbers in his backing band.
“I could be fat, soft and slow thanks to the new American sport of gluttony, but I am not,” he continues.
“My name is Ted Nugent, and I have no peers, thank you,” it reads. It comes off sounding a little desperate.
Nugent mentions his Trample the Weak/Hurdle the Dead tour — the one stopping at the Donna Corn Maze, Neumeier’s Rib Shack and a surf ballroom in landlocked Iowa — twice.
“There is only time to trample and hurdle,” Ted adds. Including the tour name mentions, that’s four uses of the phrase in the column.
The only thing actually left unsaid is what website to go to to purchase your own “Trample and Hurdle” T-shirt.
Ted Nugent is returning to the Valley with his “Trample the Weak, Hurdle the Dead Tour” on Wednesday, Aug. 11, for an intimate show at the Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. on Monday, June 7, and are priced at $35, $50 and $60.
Intimate Ted Nugent, threat or menace?