05.12.11
Punch a Yankee, urinate in the ice cube tray, eat sushi and run without paying
More nose gold from the fall of Osama bin Laden, jihadis are angry. In slow motion, apparently, because it takes awhile for the private sector industry devoted to translating their chat boards to deliver the goods.
From Morocco to the foothills of the Himalayas, the call for revenge echoes across the internet. Online forums associated with al Qaeda overflow with eulogies for Osama bin Laden, and with declarations that global jihad will continue. Even Facebook groups have emerged to mourn the demise of the world’s most wanted man.
There have also been calls in jihadist forums for al Qaeda to revive its experiments with weapons of mass destruction. The SITE Institute translated one such appeal on the Shumukh al-Islam forum: “We want to manufacture soman, ricin, mustard gas and VX nerve gas,” it declared. But there have also been calls for more basic attacks. “Go out at night in a targeted infidel compound with thirty canisters and a phone,” read one.
Old news. Wishing for ricin and poison gases doesn’t make it so. Neither do Internet recipes.
SITE Institute, in case you have forgotten, has been translating no account jihadi texts for a decade. Unlike the price of barrels of oil, the value has depreciated quite a bit, only enough to finance a small office now, maybe.
Readers note: “Treasure trove” used once in connection with the worldly refuse of Osama bin Laden.
What can jihadis do — right away — now that the ol’ man is dead? What’s suitable for the next chapter, The Revenge of Osama bin Laden.
Hmmm.
A few months ago Inspire recommended running over Americans with pickup trucks.
Random shootings are always an option.
Further down the scale in terms of violence but easier to do if you’re really strapped for resources:
Keying nice-looking automobiles.
Urinating in stairwells. With summer coming on, that gets distasteful fast.
Putting fifty cents in the newspaper kiosk and taking all of them out, instead of just one. Do it when people are looking, too!
Shouting “Fire! Die infidels!” in the theatre during the showing of a summer blockbuster.
And last but not least, there’s the most excellent trick of defecating in a paper bag and setting it on fire on somebody’s porch. Be sure to videotape and upload to YouTube.