05.26.11

Tales from the Trouser Snake Jungle

Posted in Phlogiston, Rock 'n' Roll at 9:08 am by George Smith


Good news, lads! Good news! He’s unbelievably frisky and voracious in appetites!

Once your manly power is exposed to the world it can only grow bigger. A monster escapes from the lab to roam the land. The locals build great legends around it. Are they actually true? Who can say and does it even matter?

Delightfully convenient, from the Philly News:

GIGI GOYETTE was on “Extra” last night, telling former Philadelphia news anchor Jerry Penacoli about her no-longer-secret lust affair with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

According to the former child star, the pair met on a Malibu beach in the late 1970s, when Arnold was best known as an oiled-up muscleman in a thong

Gigi told “Extra” they met for many secret romps, sometimes in the very hotel where Maria Shriver was staying with their children.

“Arnold is a very physical and sexual man,” she said, “with a voracious appetite that likes a lot of physical attention.”

* The London Sun went a step further, claiming Gigi landed in the hospital because Arnold liked his romps rough. A Sun source said after one “Raw Deal,” Gigi said she was left “hurt and embarrassed.”

Too much Vienna Wiener?

“[Gigi] said Arnold was unbelievably frisky and that she had to go to hospital he was so rough. She was embarrassed turning up with an injury like that,” a “friend” said.

Too much Vienna Wiener? Boy, what you’d give to have been able to write that line for a daily newspaper?!

Even better now — Hey Cutie — the new song, still guaranteed fresh three days from the oven, with featured Arnold singing.

Into the tunnel!

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