07.29.11

iKing

Posted in Culture of Lickspittle, Phlogiston at 1:12 pm by George Smith

Foolish news item — no link — on the Kingdom of iSteve having more cash on hand than the US Treasury affords me opportunity to tell my favorite hate-on-iKit story.

The genius of iSteve is partially in the offshore manufacturing of a trinket that destroyed the US recording industry. But that was only trivial business.

The real majesty in innovation, observed up close, was in how the iTrinket induced the drummer in DD band (he’s older than me) to throw away all his perfectly good vinyl and start freeloading the same stuff, except in lower fidelity, off Limewire until they closed that down. (This, a compulsion implanted in hundreds of millions of others.)

The sheer brilliance of this was squared by the observation that he uses iTrinkets as jukebox front ends for an expensive high living room stereo set which plays the music at much lower fidelity than the recordings he used to have in his vinyl record collection.

Apparently he can’t hear the difference. But I can. What was warm and inviting has an ever present patina of coldness attached to it now.

Yesterday, I smilingly suffered through some said-to-be-famous nerd playing Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean on a ukulele, delivered through this iKit stereo. It was so excruciating and annoyingly arch, I wanted to scream. But I bit the tongue. It had sold hundreds of thousands of copies through the iStore, I was informed. Or maybe I just dreamed that it had made that much and, instead, it had just been freeloaded from Limewire or some other pirate site before they were censured.

iKing, as I’ve written before, is perfectly positioned as mass artisan manufacturing for the future world plutocracy. It has all its stuff made by Chinese labor, material things whose primary value is that of status symbol baubles among lower upper class shoeshiners to the plutocrats.

The plutocrats, I’m guessing, still buy expensive tube amplifier sound systems. Or maybe not.

iKing, mass maker of phones which will run more apps than there are people in Pasadena. And at least ten of them involve putting iKit in your mouth or pretending it’s something that it isn’t which you haven’t the skill to actually use.

Ah, kids, I remember reading many years ago how iSteve developed the vaccination which granted immunity to smallpox … Wait, whadda you mean …

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