Ask the Lord of the Flies

Posted in Phlogiston, Stumble and Fail at 2:46 pm by George Smith

“Matthew Robson, an intern at Morgan Stanley’s London office, has lots to say about media platforms of all kinds — so much that the bank’s analysts asked him to assess the habits of his friends when it comes to TV, radio, the Internet, the works,” writes Mark Lacter at LAObserved.

For this to make sense, keep in mind Lacter contributes to the coverage LAObserved reserves for the ongoing collective nervous breakdown and collapse of journalism at the Los Angeles Times. And as part of that, and part of the media scene in LA as a whole, there’s a regular interest in the loss of readership to the freetard crowd.

With that comes the regular appearance of what DD calls, “Let’s ask what one of the Lords of the Flies thinks!”

See here for an earlier treatment.

Translated, it’s called the “ask the teenager!” exercise. Or, in this case, the poxy fifteen-year old.

However, DD freely admits that at the age of fifteen he was a bona fide douchebag, like almost all fifteen year-old boys. And he liked shit that was free, even though there wasn’t an Internet to ease the mooching.

So, in Lacter’s piece, readers are directed out to a ‘study’ put out by Morgan Stanley, one in which “Matthew Robson,” fifteen years old, spills the beans on stuff even your dog or cat probably knows.

From an older blog entry on this old tactic:

DD has now been in cyberspace for almost two decades and has seen a variety of teenagers come and grow into not-teenagers along with stories in which journalists seek their wisdom in order to divine the future. The results have always been the same, just like reading unmoderated comments pages or the old Usenet: You get a kick in the nuts and your glasses broken, gratis.

One thing DD can tell from the Morgan Stanley report, which is here. Their banks analysts and bosses are not just really cheap. They also enjoy playing their clients for fools.

Banksters taking clients for a ride. How novel.

Take this emission from the fifteen year-old wanker, on TV habits: “Most teenagers watch television, but usually there are points in the year where they watch more than average. This is due to programs coming on in seasons…”

“That’s brilliant!” to paraphrase the cartoon guy in the old Guiness commercial.

“Teenage boys usually watch more TV when it is the football season …” it continues, in case you thought such nuggets of precious nose gold were a fluke.

“No teenager that I know of regularly reads a newspaper, as most do not have the time and cannot be bothered to read pages and pages of text while they could watch the news summarized on the Internet or on TV,” reports Robson.

It’s not hard to imagine the sound of the voice. It’s the Lord of the Flies tone, the one used to explain how ‘you’, Piggy, will be getting no meat at the pig roast.

Did DD say he was a fifteen-year old douchebag, too? And I didn’t read the newspaper, either.

There was one key difference. My opinions were not collected by a business consultancy, for free, to be resold as advice to the easily hoodwinked.

“Young Robson stands out because his findings are attracting such attention — even as they seem so anecdotal and flimsy,” writes Lacter at LAObserved.

1 Comment

  1. Frank said,

    July 15, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Here’s a rebuttal to the boy’s memo from two teenaged girls writing in the Guardian.

    I think part of what’s going on here is that he said what the media wanted to hear: That’s it’s not their fault; they are just victims of Changing Times.