09.05.11
Labor Day: Hot jobs for the economy that produces nothing
From a business wire, no link, as it’s a joke masquerading as a piece of hopeful news.
Ten top jobs in the current US economy. And one of them is — spammer:
2. E-Mail Marketer
Hiring demand: 0.65 active job seekers for every open position
Annual salary range: $43,840-$84,430
10-year growth projection: 28%
Job description: Spam I am. The fragmenting of the information market makes it harder and harder to get the attention of consumers. Just as a fisherman has better luck if the bait ends up where the fish are, more companies are turning to targeted e-mail efforts to get the right message to the right audience. [Yeah, right. Not according to my mail filters.]
Other top jobs, those you’ve seen DD mock previously.
There’s the continuing growth market for bedpan technicians. Two types — one for working at the installations where the poor and average elderly are warehoused. And one — call them mobile bedpan technicians — for attending to the wealthy who warehouse in their mansions.
And, of course, programmers for trivial apps for “smart phones.”
True story: DD was at Ralphs in Pasadena last week when an iDolt used an app on his phone to enter the discount count, which is your phone number. Seriously. There’s an app that wastes your time, those behind you, and the grocery checker’s, in replacing your brain and index finger.