The United States of Awesome Possibilities — really, not a joke

Posted in Decline and Fall, Phlogiston, Rock 'n' Roll at 4:30 pm by George Smith

I have the best song for the new tourism trade association campaign to boost America overseas. It’s “The National Anthem!”

What better way to show off our best side than to indicate that after a long time, yes, some of us still do have a grim but inviting sense of humor. And that we’re able to ridicule ourselves.

From the New York Daily News, on the full court p.r. press to “rebrand:”

Say hello to “the United States of Awesome Possibilities” as it looks to visitors from abroad to help lift it out of the economic doldrums.

By soft-pedaling patriotism, the newly-formed US national tourism board tasked with getting more tourists — and their money — onto US soil is reinventing the nation as a hip new land of diversity and possibilities.

“We’re rebranding America for the first time,” said Jim Evans, chief executive of the Corporation for Travel Promotion, ahead of the World Travel Market that opened Monday in London.

“Over the last 10 or 12 years, people have seen America as unwelcoming as we’ve focused on security …

Central to that message is a pixelated “USA” logo, unveiled Monday in London and a world away from the Stars and Stripes, that is meant to represent what the corporation calls “the United States of Awesome Possiblities.”

“It is not about patriotism, flag-waving or chest-beating,” says the corporation in a capsule explanation of the design. “It is meant to be welcoming, unexpected and inclusive.”

“We have to rekindle the romance with the United States,” Chris Perkins, chief marketing officer at the Corporation for Travel Promotion, told AFP.

“It pains me, as a proud American, but we’re viewed as arrogant and brash …

Mid-summer, the chief of Obama’s jobs advisory program — the detested Jeff Immelt of General Electric, recommended boosting terrorism tourism (howzat for a malapropism?) as a way to add jobs.

Of course, in addition to curbing the national image as brash and arrogant, we could do with a lot less of the patently phony and stupid, too.

Welcome to the US of Penitentiary … we all get here, eventually.

We lock up the poor for all the rich. And we do it right, without no hitch!

Welcome to the United States of Greed. It’s the only country you’ll ever need! If you’re into frauds and useless devices, Uncle Sam — the best of choices.

Welcome to the United States of Security! We’ll check you now for purity!

If you have gold and your ass don’t smell, we won’t bomb you straight to Hell!

1 Comment

  1. Mikey said,

    November 10, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    Fantastic malapropism (terrorism/tourism) made even better by being nearly perfect homonyms if all y’all add enough southern accent and merge a syllable or two, y’all.

    Kudos department: I seldom visit your blog without learning something, which keeps my brain function moving in the proper direction. In this case, the Gadsden Flag. I’ve seen it many times in printed pictures, a few in person around the Camp Pendleton area, and never knew what it was called, or why. And wherever or however you source much of your material predates every other instance of it that I see, virtually barring none. Great job, DD.