12.07.11
December 7th war salesman #2
This afternoon, another salesman using December 7th, this one to peddle his books on the peril of China.
Excerpt, after dispensing with the smokescreen of introductory paragraphs on Pearl Harbor:
The biggest danger, however, and the one most likely to go on for years, is the determination of China’s Communist dictators to dominate not only Asia and the Pacific but also, recalling the ambitions of Hitler and the Japanese imperialists, the world.
This danger takes several forms. One is the chance — unlikely but an acknowledged element in Beijing’s war plans — of a Pearl Harbor-like sneak attack on North American cities with nuclear-tipped missiles. Another is China’s stepping up economic pressures on capitalist countries — or taking over enough natural resources, particularly Canada’s oilsands, to change economic balances. Perhaps the greatest threat — but in the long run a welcome development — is the collapse of Communist China due to inflation, corruption and widespread popular protests. This might well ignite the fuses of an economic assault on the rest of the world, or a last-ditch nuclear attack. It would surely create chaos within China.
China to attack it’s primary dry goods customers with nuclear missiles, eh?
I wrote about what a war with China would look like, at Globalsecurity, with tongue firmly in cheek:
What happens, other than the military actions?
All goods from China cease.
The middle class sees all US stores run out of stock of sundries. Wal-Mart, Target (and every giant box store like them), BestBiuy, all hardware stores, all consumer electronic stores, Bed/Bath & Beyond, sporting goods shops — all crash and go bankrupt. Salvation Army outlets become the sole garment distribution centers for the entire country.
Unemployment becomes massive and all-encompassing; a new recession to make the Great Recession look small ensues. People watch video of our bombers methodically destroying China’s military for a month. In fact, the military is the only place where employment is stable. After two months, television watching stops too as cable is disconnected for non-payment.
Fender Musical Instruments and Gibson guitars are put out of business when all their factories in China are cut off. The value of old, even mostly crap, instruments skyrockets. Old classic rockers enjoy revival as they are one of the only groups of musicians who can still go out and entertain locally.
In the next election, every incumbent — from top to bottom — is voted out of office.
With the flow of exports to the US and everywhere else cut off, China is also engulfed in a tidal wave of unemployment. Caught between the US military and rioting in the streets, the Chinese government destabilizes. All its new and fine military hardware is destroyed in detail. This takes four to six weeks.
The war ends. The world is dragged into a great depression, having lost what’s left of the buying power of the US and almost all its sundries and electronics manufacturing in the short term.
Happily, Apple goes out of business as manufacturing for all its iKit ceases and demand subsequently plummets for what’s left because of indigence in the US working class.
“David Van Praagh, a journalist who has covered many countries, is the author of The Greater Game: India’s Race with Destiny and China,” reads the tagline.
China Toilet Blooz done ala Captain Beefheart.