01.05.12
The New Plaster Casters
The original Plaster Casters were two groupies who attained a measure of fame casting the members of selected rock stars in alginate.
It was harmless and goofy, good for color stories in the news and on television for years.
In modern America, there are plaster casters all over the place. In the culture of lickspittle it’s been turned into a serious career track.
And by this I don’t mean people who fluff rockstars so their tumescence can be lovingly preserved. I mean it far more metaphorically, as in those who act as fellatrices for various agencies and industries in our allegedly technologically superior country.
Now consider for a moment what author Paul Fussell had to say in his book, Bad, on truly wretched publications and their audiences, well before the advent of digital publishing:
“[Down] to magazines aimed at the mentally ill, like Majesty: The Monthly Royal Review, for people who get an erection when they think of the Queen Mother — or rather her privileges, furniture and jewels — and Soldier of Fortune, for people who fantasize about plunging a trench knife into a foreigner of color, generally smaller than themselves.”
Fussell never imagined the explosion of things of this ilk on the network called the web. Print kept the number of such pubs small because even though execrable, it still took a good deal of money and resources to do it right.
However, web publishing did away with all that and, today, in full cooperation with the culture of lickspittle and its glory, there are literally hundreds of digital pubs for those who get hard reading about the products of US weapons shops.
And because there is a big audience with such a pathology, the publications that serve them are essentially groupie mags — like Tiger Beat — only staffed with journalists who write daily swooning copy on what I’ve called The Empire’s Dog Feces.
For example, on the web you can’t spit without hitting something like this on every side:
Tasers that elicit excruciating spasms in one person at a time? Foam pellets that send an entire crowd fleeing in agony? Pfft. So 2011. Where non-lethal weapons are concerned, the future’s all about sonic microwaves that can make swimmers puke mid-stroke, and aircraft with laser beams that can redirect an entire enemy plane mid-flight.
Or, at least, those are the deepest, darkest wishes of the Pentagon agency responsible for non-lethal weapons.
The military’s Joint Non-Lethal Weapons Directorate’s “Non-Lethal Weapons Reference Book,??? leaked online last week by PublicIntelligence.org, is a terrifying treasure trove that describes dozens of ways — some already in-use, others in development or still mere fantasy — for military and law enforcement officials to make you wish they were using the real bullets.
A total of 14 weapons, according to the reference book, are currently being fielded. Some of ‘em, you’ve heard of. Good old tasers, which the guide helpfully reminds us “can penetrate 2 inches of clothing??? in order to “totally disable an individual,??? and guns that shoot 600 rubber pellets filled with pepper spray …
This, of course, from the famous publication that’s done everything humanly possible to own the beat.
However, there are lots of rivals and this week’s best came from Digital Trends, a Yahoo news agency:
The United States military has been making great strides with the development and use of unmanned drones for some time now. Military drones are generally used to gather intel and perform reconnaissance missions into enemy territory or other hostile environments. Thankfully, such technology allows for a vast array of benefits, perhaps most importantly eliminating the need of placing soldier’s lives in danger during recon missions.
Yes, thankfully, such technology allows for a vast array of benefits when one is doing the modern version of Fussell’s “plunging a trench knife into a foreigner of color, generally smaller than themselves.” Which, of course, is letting a guided missile off the chain at some nonspecific group of paupers who can’t shoot back on the other side of the globe.
It’s hard for me to imagine someone actually writing this type of copy without immediately lapsing into superciliousness and slurs. Nevertheless, there are people who do it every day.
Someone named Amir Iliaifar continues at Yahoo:
While most drones utilized by the military take the shape of airplanes, the new Argus-IS is a different breed of drone that takes the form of a helicopter. While planes require space to take off and land, the Argus-IS does not.
That, of course, isn’t the only attribute that makes the Argus-IS a formidable new piece of military tech. We all know how fond the military is of acronyms and the Argus-IS, which stands for Autonomous Real-time Ground Ubiquitous Surveillance-Imaging System doesn’t disappoint. However, it’s not the Argus-IS’ long name that impresses, or even its ability to hover in place or take off without a landing strip, what truly sets the Argus-IS apart from other drones is its 1.8 gigapixel camera …
Currently, the Argus-IS is undergoing testing, but will reportedly be deployed in Afghanistan by the end of the new year.
Pucker up those lips. The editor will warm the mix.
