03.13.12

CAHY: How to make money in the brokedick economy

Posted in Culture of Lickspittle, Decline and Fall at 7:26 am by George Smith

Unless you’re working for an arms manufacturer, some disruptive digital revolution company stuffed with annoying tech nerds working to destroy the livelihoods of others, or in financial services, you’re permanently on the downward slope of employability.

DD’s going out on a pretty strong limb here to assert the US economy will never revive substantial employment for the middle class. Retail, food service and jobs as hospitality workers for the tourism business won’t refloat the American dream.

So the country will continue its slide into not making anything anyone really wants in the wider physical world except weapons and some cars.

How do I know?

An incessant barrage of news articles on how to make money on the side.

There is an unintentional black humor to these pieces since they literally involve squeezing blood from stones.

What’s the number one way to quick money in this story?

Sell blood! Maybe you’ll make an extra $25 to $35 a month!

The next recommendation? Be a guinea pig. Sign up for clinical trials of unapproved drugs.

This is like being a prostitute, only it pays less, is somewhat more hazardous and lacks the small satisfactions that might come from knowing you’re attractive and effective enough to be a streetwalker and can kick the john out when you’ve collected the cash money and done the service. In fact, it’s a good argument for the legalization of the world’s oldest profession.

As a boost to employment opportunities, of course.

Also on the list — liquidation. After being put out of work by corporate America, you can sell of all your things at next to nothing prices on two of the boom-boom revolutionary companies in US net tech, eBay or Amazon, and make a few extra bob.

And remember the bit at the top of the piece on disruptive technology service firms and how good it is to work for them? Building their business models on technology that enables the haves to use the network to wipe their feet on the have-nots, you can join the global slave labor pool through them, doing anything someone can think of for a few pebbles and a handful of dirt:

“Still, you can use the Internet to make extra cash. You can provide product research on sites like SurveySavvy.com for anywhere from $1 to $15 per survey, or perform quick menial tasks like tagging images for a few cents each on Mechanical Turk. You can also use the Internet to find offline jobs in your area (like bartending or short-term work as a personal assistant) at Zaarly, where some gigs are worth $100 or more.”

Of Zaarly, another net aggregation company created and staffed by people you couldn’t stand to be in the same room with, one article burbles:

EBay transformed the way people sold vintage trinkets online. Craigslist changed the way people bought new sofas and hunted for apartments in their towns. A new start-up called Zaarly hopes to alter the way people outsource simple errands and tasks …

Bo Fishback, the chief executive and founder of the company, said the most exciting piece of the news was that the company was also gaining Meg Whitman, the chief executive of Hewlett-Packard and the former chief executive of eBay, as a board member …

The site works by letting people post requests for an item or service, and then lets other people, businesses and companies bid to fulfill those needs. Once an agreement is met, Zaarly connects the two parties so they can complete the deal. People can either pay in cash, or through Zaarly’s payment system.

Bid to run errands and buy trinkets for some of America’s lazy upper class snobs, then “Get paid in gum!”

It’s about time the rest of America got a lesson, taught by a company that boasts “it’s changing how the economy works,” in what Mexican gardeners and yardsmen in southern California make, don’t you think?

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