03.14.12
Doing God’s work
From the New York Times op-ed piece, a big excuse for today’s bit of gleeful SchadenFreude:
What are three quick ways to become a leader? a) Execute on the firm’s “axes,??? which is Goldman-speak for persuading your clients to invest in the stocks or other products that we are trying to get rid of because they are not seen as having a lot of potential profit. b) “Hunt Elephants.??? In English: get your clients — some of whom are sophisticated, and some of whom aren’t — to trade whatever will bring the biggest profit to Goldman. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t like selling my clients a product that is wrong for them. c) Find yourself sitting in a seat where your job is to trade any illiquid, opaque product with a three-letter acronym.
“Today, if you make enough money for the firm (and are not currently an ax murderer) you will be promoted into a position of influence,” writes Greg Smith, former Goldman Sachs employee.
And this bit of unintentional hilarity:
My proudest moments in life — getting a full scholarship to go from South Africa to Stanford University, being selected as a Rhodes Scholar national finalist, winning a bronze medal for table tennis at the Maccabiah Games in Israel, known as the Jewish Olympics — have all come through hard work, with no shortcuts.
A bronze medal in ping pong in the Maccabiah Games. Really! Oh, that’s so special and precious. A mighty man was he.
Now for the million dollar book offer and tour of tv news programs.