06.14.10
Posted in Rock 'n' Roll, Ted Nugent at 8:55 am by George Smith
Is not me. No, it’s himself.
However, DD is so impressed by Ted’s WaTimes columns, including this week’s in which he breaks his arm patting himself on the back, I’ve decided to turn over the entire blog to rechanneling the wisdom of Nugent.
Only kidding. Sort of. At least for this minute.
“The embarrassing disconnect of an increasingly spoiled nation of freedom abusers has created a serious anti-American mess here, and I just thought the old guitar player could shine the spotlight of common sense on some ridiculously simple basics for y’all,” writes Nugent, in what seems like a sign-off.
Nugent reveals he’s had double-knee surgery, if you cared, before delivering some pro forma praise of the jobbers in his backing band.
“I could be fat, soft and slow thanks to the new American sport of gluttony, but I am not,” he continues.
“My name is Ted Nugent, and I have no peers, thank you,” it reads. It comes off sounding a little desperate.
Nugent mentions his Trample the Weak/Hurdle the Dead tour — the one stopping at the Donna Corn Maze, Neumeier’s Rib Shack and a surf ballroom in landlocked Iowa — twice.
“There is only time to trample and hurdle,” Ted adds. Including the tour name mentions, that’s four uses of the phrase in the column.
The only thing actually left unsaid is what website to go to to purchase your own “Trample and Hurdle” T-shirt.
Ted Nugent is returning to the Valley with his “Trample the Weak, Hurdle the Dead Tour” on Wednesday, Aug. 11, for an intimate show at the Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. on Monday, June 7, and are priced at $35, $50 and $60.
Intimate Ted Nugent, threat or menace?
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06.10.10
Posted in Extremism, Rock 'n' Roll, Ted Nugent at 8:59 am by George Smith
This week’s WaTimes wisdom from mean old coot Ted Nugent:
The reason the Obama administration does not want to enforce our immigration laws is that they want to make Democratic slaves (voters) of these illegal immigrants …
The WaTimes should ask Ted to delve into the gray cells more deeply. He’s not giving them their money’s worth, as this has been so much a favorite of the GOP it qualifies as a golden oldie.
The next Tedly excerpt invites readers to play a game of anemic ‘logical’ constructions:
If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely stop the invasion of illegal immigrants pouring across our porous border …
You can play along, too. DD will show you how with a few examples.
1. If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely stop the Deep Horizon oil spill!
2. If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely fix mass unemployment!
3. If we can put a man on the Moon, we can surely eliminate the growing need for food stamps in this country!
4. If Ted Nugent made “Cat Scratch Fever,” he can surely write another album that will put him back in the stadiums!
Ted’s WaTimes columns are so unintentionally hilarious, it’s clear he must spend virtually no time on them.
That’s because he’s busy — on tour in the heart of the nation this summer, playing places like the Donna Corn Maze, a surf ballroom in the middle of Iowa and Fort Smith, Arkansas.
“Ted Nugent will perform at 8 p.m. July 13 at Neumeier’s’ Rib
Room & Beer Garden, 817 Garrison Ave., and those attending will
hear great music and see what possibly could be an unscripted,
rock-and-roll experience,” reads the Fort Smith newspaper.
Venue owner Bill Neumeier told the newspaper:
Uncle Ted always gets wild on stage … Ted Nugent will be the biggest star to have ever played on the Rib Room’s stage … Now to have him on my stage, well, it’s a dream come true, and I hope it’s a dream come true for fans in Fort Smith.
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06.02.10
Posted in Extremism, Rock 'n' Roll, Ted Nugent at 9:50 am by George Smith
As predicted here a couple weeks ago, crazy old coot Ted Nugent has written a WaTimes column on how all us stupid punks have the oil spill wrong.
If we didn’t have them, energy would be just too damn expensive. Plus, despising the likes of BP is bad and wrong:
With the possible exception of the tobacco industry, no industry is held in more contempt and scorn than big oil. This is strangely foolish … I’m convinced the energy business could make mining for energy virtually risk-free, thereby making the risk of an oil spill very low. Few if any coal miners would ever get hurt or killed again. However, if such a risk-free model were adopted, the cost of energy would skyrocket and kill the American economy. Seven dollars or more for a gallon of gas, anyone? BP and other energy companies are not evil enterprises that are out to rape the environment.
In conclusion:
Don’t be an American energy idiot.
Drill, baby, drill; demand state-of-the-art intelligent preparation and hold the ineffective, criminal decision-makers [of Fedzilla] accountable.
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05.24.10
Posted in Extremism, Rock 'n' Roll, Ted Nugent at 9:51 am by George Smith
Run off the pages of the Waco, TX, newspaper for being too much the name-caller, Ted Nugent has been pumping out more hilariously extreme columns for the Washington Times.
Railing against ‘Fedzilla’ in every one, he’s found his perfect audience — the lunatic extreme right of the same said ‘Fedzilla.’ So while Nugent works his way through the classic rock oldies ag fair circuit this summer, he still will generate a great deal of accidental humor through weekly trainwrecks of thought committed to print by the Times.
A recent best of:
“Pay attention. Get involved. Demand action. Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead.”
The rest is here.
I am not entitled to a paycheck if I don’t produce. Unless, of course, I am a dependent, bloodsucking punk who expects others to cover for my ineptness. Savings are unemployment benefits for responsible people.
See Greece crumble under its own weight? That’s what happens when you discard accountability and totally disregard the importance of apple quality, apple production and apple value. Or you could always burn down the orchard like Zimbabwe.
Literally. Ignorant goofballs. No bail out for you.
Spend like a gluttonous, spoiled brat with no consideration whatsoever for next year’s crop, and you get a nation of denial-strangled idiots who have convinced themselves that their compensation has no connection to their productivity and sales success rate. Soulless.
Are you listening SEIU? AFL-CIO? Are you listening Fedzilla, you gluttonous, blind pig, you.
The rest is here.
But the absolute finest of Ted’s May declamations are these bon mots.
The New Deal was a raw deal, and the Great Society was for losers.
Who can believe that Fedzilla is taking Goldman Sachs to task …
We are shocked that the president of the United States surrounds himself with self-avowed communists, Marxists, socialists, tax cheats, lawbreakers, far-left animal rights goons, Mao and Che fans, and czars …
A prime motivator for the Tea Party is the example of Martin Luther King Jr. …
Truth, logic and common sense drive our lives and remain common and sensible to us all.
Here.
Krugman’s chart showing the biggest gains for average Americans corresponding to Nugent’s personal belief that ‘the Great Society was for losers.’
Ladies and gentleman, the mean old coot will now play “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” on the stage next to the pig show pavilion at the Donna Corn Maze.
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05.06.10
Posted in Extremism, Rock 'n' Roll, Ted Nugent at 9:11 am by George Smith
Too over-the-top for the Waco, TX, city newspaper, Ted Nugent has a column at the Washington Times.
Where it gets to be more extreme.
It, along with a love letter he wrote form the exteme right wing Human Events two years ago, probably has something to do with why TIME magazine editors asked him to write a one paragraph hagiography of Sarah Palin.
Of course, they probably cut all the real good parts. Or laughers like this one from 2008:
Gov. Palin is an executive. The mark of an effective executive is to surround herself with bright, talented, capable professionals who share her vision to accurately represent the people they work for: Americans.
Anyway, according to one recent Nuge piece in the WaTimes, the Democrats have evil designs on illegals:
You would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to see that the grand plan of the Democrats is to entrap illegal immigrants by giving them legal status and then enslave and destroy them with numerous Fedzilla handouts …
While I applaud Arizona for its bold and brave new law, putting illegals in jail is the wrong move. That costs too much. I say Arizona should follow its own American hero, Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County.
Sheriff Arpaio keeps crooks in a large outdoor holding facility and makes them sleep in tents. Among other things, he feeds them bologna sandwiches. I hope they are not fresh.
All this from “Immigration Lesson for Numskulls,” of which all not Ted Nugent are guilty of being. Unless you’re giving stale balogna sandwiches to illegals kept in an outdoor tent jail.
And it’s not Wall Street that caused the worldwide economic collapse, it’s the US guvmint. But you saw that coming, right?
America is going bankrupt not because of crooked and unethical Wall Street investment bankers. We are in this financial morass because of a bloated, ineffective, unaccountable and wasteful Fedzilla
I’ll bet the president a backyard beer at the White House that many more Americans would entrust their future to Wall Street bankers than to the elected frauds and idiots who have plundered the national treasury and put America’s future on thin ice.
November is hunting season. No bag limit.
Here.
The last time we looked at Ted Nugent, he was Massey Coal’s celebrity talking parrot.
Next week: Ted explains how massive oil spills show American values and uphold freedom.
DD just bought Joan Jett’s photobiography by Todd Oldham. It’s an excellent example of how to grow older playing rock and roll, keep your self-respect and remain a human being.
Instead of turning into a rotted old public disgrace.
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